I'm scared...

The first time I liked someone, he just didn't know  it... Then he was gone before I really understood what was going on...

The second time I liked a person, she knew it, and avoided me...Later, she went away to somewhere I couldn't reach out to...

The third person I thought I liked, my friends told jokes about it, and the feelings just faded away...

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The fourth time I think I like someone, it's not that. Maybe it just stops as friends, or maybe much more than just "like"...An...elder sister? 

Who knows?

We do not know each other in real life, though. That person is funny, confident and cool. That person is charming. We met online, and talked through yahoo. My feelings for that person just make me feel undone, for the first time I find out that I am just a little kid, a single droplet in this entire big world.

Later, she begins to go further, and further from my reach, just like the other pieces of memories in the past. And it hurts more than I've ever felt before. She's dying. I finally get it...and I'm starting to confuse again.

What if the only person I've always want to reach out to disappear from this world? I don't know...I'm just...scared, and lost...